waking up to the most terrifying thing a mother can.

Today, I had one of the most frightening moments a mother thinks of.

I suffer  have depression. I take meds to help but I decided to take myself off and as a result I have been sleeping alot.  BIG MISTAKE. I have hit a rough patch. Today I learned how this affects my family just as much as it does myself.

Today, Hubs had to go to work. So, he wasn't home to get up with little man. I wake up because I found it odd that little man had not came into my room yet. Usually, if he wakes up before us he comes into our room and crawls in bed and snuggles. I get up to go check on him in his room. As soon as I open my bedroom door my back door is wide open & the screen door is closed. Panic hit my mind. I ran to his room and he was gone. I run outside in the 30 degree weather bare foot and in a spagetti strap shirt without a bra...It was a little nippy. I run to the drive way and look and he is no where. I run to the front yard... He isn't there. I run over to my in laws house (our backyards connect) and my mother in law sees me and I fling the back door open and she asks "whats wrong????" I just yelled "AIDEN!!!" and I think that i said something about not being able to finding him. She said she would run out front of her house and look. I ran back to my house and ran inside SCREAMING little mans name... and I thought I heard my MIL call my name so I slip on the shoes by the back door and run out. She DOESN'T have little man. At that point, I knew something terrible happened. She says "Trey (Hubs) took him over to meme and pa this morning... He is over there." I was also calling hubs over and over while I was looking for little man. He answers as MIL tells me he is at meme and pa's. So I scream at him "Why didn't you tell me you were taking him over there!?!? YOU LEFT THE BACKDOOR WIDE OPEN!! WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME!?!? I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING ALL OVER FOR HIM OUTSIDE!!!". He says I'm sorry and I hung up and ran inside. I crawled in my bed and started to cry. I felt HORRIBLE.

I officially deserve the worst mother alive award. How could I let myself get that low? It was the single most terrifying moment in my LIFE. I have never felt such fear in my life. I never felt such disappointment in myself as a mother in my life. I scare the living CRAP out of my mil and myself. I would not be able to  live with myself if something HAD happened to little man. This evening I went to my mother in laws to apologize for scaring her today and she said she knew something was wrong when she saw me running to her back door. She said I had this "look" on my face and thought I was going to say something happened to him or that he was unconscious.

This morning was definitely a wake up call. I cannot let my son down.

You bet when hubs brought him home I hugged that kid so tight.

Lord, Thank you for protecting my baby and giving me a reality check..

I just had to get this of my chest. 

Life seems to be on fast forward

It's wednesday! It's Wednesday!! Oh, What a relief... Halfway through the week. Life these past few weeks have been busy! Lots of exciting new things going on with my family.

Last weekend (9/24) my sweet little sister in law got married!I was asked to be a brides maid. It was so beautiful and fun! Trey was asked to be a grooms man and little man was asked to be a ring bearer. That worked out well. Not. During the rehearsal we were in our lines and as I am walking down the aisle and I hear a LOUD scream..."NO!!!MOMMMMMMYYYY!!" I just kept smiling and walking. At that moment, I knew someone would not make it down the aisle. Oh, The bride and groom were. But not my little man... He had plans of his own(Like he often does..). So I thought i would share some pictures from that wonderful day !!
This is the Bridal party.

Here are the Groomsmen:
(hubs is the SMOKIN hot one standing on the right with his hands BEHIND his back. )

That was the first time I have ever seen hubs in a tux. Boy, was he a hunk!!

The cake was BEAUTIFUL! i LOVED the brooch! It was beautiful!

Here is a collage the photographer made (Adele photography) who btw did an amazing job!
Britt and Jacob had a candy bar! It was so darling!!! The kids LOVED as did I hehe

Now here are some from the ceremony... In which i cried like a big BABY.. if i see someone crying..I start. The fact that someone dream was coming true and wether or not I want to admit it I am going to miss that girl just as much as everyone else will

We aren't "Close" well because I am very outspoken and if something is on my mind I will say it and make how I feel is know(Most of the time) and I don't think hubs family was expecting him to marry someone like me. I am complete opposite of how she is. She is sweet,quiet,modest. When i first got married I was none of those above. No I have grown up a little and gotten there :)

Here are a few pictures of Britt and Jacob

This picture is my absolute favorite! I love the adoration that Jacob has that he has while looking at her. You can see how much he loves,adores and really cherishes her!!

Then on monday Brit and Jacob (My new brother in law) were off to California (where Jacob serves in the marines.) Marriage is a big step in itself. Then add leaving the house you have know as home for your whole life (literally.) then move to a house that you have never been in, Moving to a place where you know no one, and your family is 1,500 miles away... That a big step. A scary step. I have a hard enough time leaving 10 miles from my parents! I know at some point in our lives though we have to spread our wings, Learn who we are and learn what we want do with our lives and become that person. Parents are often times afraid for the children when it comes life changing decisions. They have every reason to be afraid But it is their choice to trust their child to utilize all the things that have taught them but at the same time let them learn from their own mistakes. I believe that Britt will do amazing out there. She is a smart,beautiful,courageous young woman!! I lied, i KNOW she will be great out there, Spread those wing girl and don't be afraid of anything. You don't get this kind of opportunity all the time. Embrace it. love it. Make memories with your new husband that you will remember for the rest of your life. Don't be afraid to get out there.Have fun organizing your new house. I personally can't wait to see how they turn that house into a home!!


I am going to be starting a project soon. I want to become more organized in life,finace...Everything. Lately, I felt a so disorganized and not in control of my life that figured I would start organizing. I know you are all laughing REALLY hard right now... I have tried unsuccessfully many times but this time I'm for reals. For reals for reals! So, I will keep you all up to date on that. There are a a lot of things that are going to be changing in our house and I will keep you up to date on those changes as well...

So, until next time,